Nobody probably would come here to read this anyway. So well here it goes. Just wanna rant. Finally a post after a gazillion year.

Sometimes I think my mother is right, as people like your friends become closer to you, they get more comfortable with you. With that, people start to test your patience and see how far they can go. Huien has shared with me one of such situations, but that's a story for another time.

The modern society has evolved so much, in so many ways. Our definition of what's acceptable is gradually changing, and people are starting to put such "new" behaviour into a test. To see whether such behaviours are acceptable and tolerable. And what's better than testing them first on your friends?

Reason one, they are your friends, they probably have a higher tolerance towards you because they know you well. So if they couldn't withstand whatever nonsense stunt that you're trying to pull, then it's most likely unable to be deemed as a societal norm. Reason two, the person is your friend! So even if what you did is unaccepted by them, the worst they could do is to tell you off, and forgive you after that. (Provided if you don't do it again) We humans hate to be judged. We're afraid that people judge us base on the things we do. So we experiment them with our friends, because they don't judge! If they do, they're probably not your close friends anyway.

So why am I rambling so much about this? Recently I've experienced several cases of people taking me, or others for granted. And it's not just the issue of treating people with respect, I feel it is also a clear indication of your sense and level of responsibility. Why do I say that? The reason is fairly simple. Your sense of responsibility determines, well, the amount of commitment you're willing to put into to accomplish a task, maybe even done with another person. If the level of commitment is low, it just goes to show that the others participating in the same project would have to put in even more effort to cover your part. Is that treating your friends/teammates/comrade with respect? In my opinion, NO.

You may say, "Ben you're so bloody narrow minded. You don't know my situation, you don't know what I'm going to through." Yeah sure I don't know what you're going through. But YOU Don't know what the other people are going through. Let's face it, life is unfair, and I agree, some people had it better than the others. But well, the only fair thing every is everyone has 24 hours a days. Unless you can travel at speed near the speed of light. But that's a story for another day. At this point, I think its all about time management. I can participate in NP Toastmasters Club, participate in a high commitment external CCA (NUS Wind symphony), teach tuitions on weekends to support my expenditure and save for my university, participate in my secondary school Alumni band, and maintaining a relatively good academic results. I EVEN HAVE TIME TO DOTA WITH MY FRIENDS. Unless you're really working outside because of your low family income and you really needed to help out in supporting your family, don't fucking give me the "I have no time" shit.

Ok fine, let's give such people the benefit of time. Perhaps they really didn't have time because of the important things that they need to do. I'm usually fine with people saying "I have no time" because I'm a student too, I understand that sometimes non-academic related activities can take up a large portion of your time. You know what's even more enraging than "I have no time"? EXCUSES. A BAD ONE AT THAT.

LIKE OH DEAR LORD ITS FUCKING 2012. If you wanna come up with excuses, could you come up with something more legit, credible and practical? At least something that people would go like "Omg ... Okok can can you go ahead. Maybe next time." At least hear already not so pekcek BUT NO..... People come up with nonsensical reasons. Reasons that the moment you hear you'd be like, "WTF? So the level of priority I occupy in your heart is not more important than this?" This really saddens me. I tend to not take things to heart and give people the benefit of doubt. But times like this really hurts me. REALLY REALLY badly. There was this time where K stood on me just by giving a reason of "I feel very lazy to go out now ..." LIKE WTF? You gave me your word but you're now backing out just because you're LAZY? Lesson learnt, the sensation of having nothing to do is more important than a date/appointment with your friend, because apparently laziness is a valid reason to stood up on someone. You see why I said the definition of acceptable behaviour is changing now? Another example, "The rain is very big. I can't make it there." UTTER BULLSHIT. What you're made of paper? You'll get torn up if you get exposed to rain? And whatever is the umbrella for? And I can safely guarantee that 70-90% of the journey travelling across ANY TWO POINTS in Singapore is SHELTERED. The only part where its exposed to rain? From your house to the bus stop/MRT station, and from the destination bus stop to the actual location.
SOMETIMES THE BUS STOPS/MRT STATIONS ARE EVEN SHELTERED FROM YOUR HOUSE AND TO YOUR DESTINATION. Still think heavy rain is a valid reason? Heavy rain is a good reason to be late, but not to be absent. This is just plain IRRESPONSIBLE. If you're not interested, don't say you're coming. You could give me a "Maybe, I may not be interested to go." I'm totally fine with that. At least I know you're courteous enough to let me know there's a chance that you'd not be here, or courteous enough to not outright reject me. I appreciated either you outright reject me, or tell me there's a chance that you might not be there. At least I'd find it reasonable because you didn't promise your presence.

BUT NOOOOOOO. THINGS ARE CHANGING. It's now PROMISE FIRST, PLAN LATER, AT THE MOST I'D CANCEL IT IF I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT/GOING FOR IT. Since when was this ever acceptable in ANY SOCIETY OF ANY COUNTRY? This is the kind of work I'd expect from a office temp worker with a bad attitude.

And if you think that's bad enough, it's not. How about people that are SUPPOSE to be there, but no there? And they just give you a, "I have nothing to do there. I don't want to go. I'd rather go home and do my own stuff." Another bullshit. Tell me which event in the world has a NOTHING TO DO role. In a event, there's always things to do, just at which point of the event. And because of your withdrawal, people would have to take up more things. So you have to do your own stuff at home and others don't have to? Now that's just plain selfish. At least turn up for the setting up because it's important and rushed you'd have to set up by a certain time. And THEN leave a bit earlier because the rest of the people have ALL THE TIME in the world to pack up. They may even take 2 hours if they want. (But everyone wants to go home early. Nobody would do that.) That eases the workload of people by a significant amount. But apparently you only think of yourself. I cannot even find the appropriate vocabulary to express my rage at this point.

One very clear indication of how important you are to that person, is the person stood up on your because they FORGOT about the date and had made another arrangement. This is just pure fucked up. If its something important that you have no choice but to put it on that day then fine. But if its something non-compulsory like a dinner and you give ME up for that dinner with your friend, you're really very irresponsible. I don't give a shit about, "I haven't seen the person for very long!" or "It's with these group or people, we said we'd have dinner together!" Well fuck you that's your problem if you don't know how to make arrangements according to your plans. This is how I look at it, appointments are on a first come first served basis. If I asked you first and you agreed, I have that time of yours. Could you have more principle and let people know you're not available and arranged another day? Why should I have to suffer for your incapability? If there's anyone to suffer, thats YOU, because YOU are the one that fucked up.

I sound like a brat that wants to placed on the top priority. But no, the only thing I expect from people is just to mark their words. If you can't promise, don't. Be responsible for what you say. I think I hadn't fully expressed my displease, but my mind is in a mess now and I think that's about what I'm disappointed about.

My bad habit is kicking in. Maybe I shouldn't have expectations from people anymore. Then again, am I wrong to have expectations for people that I deem them as "Friends"? Perhaps I'm in a total different category.

If at ANY POINT of time in the future you read this post (whoever you are), please tweet me at @SheldonGlashow, and let me know if i'm being unreasonable. Hashtag #porkchop so that I know your tweet is with reference to this post.

Then again, not sure how many people will see this. But I've ranted my piece, and I think that's all I need to let off my piece. Appreciated those who spent the time reading this long post. It could be another year before I post again.